Good Mornin' Postie

Good mornin' postie, no bills today I hope.
Good mornin' postie, it's a beautiful day.

It's a postcard from Auntie, she's living in Spain.
And I don't think she's coming back home again,
'Cause she's found a new boyfriend,
His name is Felix.
He's a waiter at the bar where she drinks.

Well, his English ain't great, but he says that he loves her,
Though he's young enough now to be my brother.
She says that he's kinder than all of the saints,
But he knows that she's loaded,
And he ain't!

So, good mornin' postie, no bills today I hope.
Good Mornin' postie, it's a beautiful day.

At last it's arrived, my package from Holland,
It's small, but sublime, and I doubt I'll want a refund,
'Cause it was packed by an expert,
Considered the best.
He's a celebrated horticulturist.

So, if you'll excuse me, time is money you know.
I've got compost to pot, and hybrid seeds to sow.
I've a hydroponics system just waiting to grow.
Are they tulips that I'm cropping?
Not quite. No.

So, good mornin' postie, no bills today I hope.
Good Mornin' postie, it's a beautiful day.

Oh bollocks, I knew it, snapped on the bypass,
Picking on motorists when the crims are causing chaos,
By thieving and mugging
And running amok.
Well, the coppers need to make an easy buck!

Well, sod it, I'll not pay that sixty pound ticket!
And three points on my licence, well they can go and stick it,
'Cause i was borrowing that car on the way to my test,
Which I failed, so I ain't got
My licence yet!

So, come on all you good people,
And give your postie a pat.
Your good old postie, a pat on the back.

So, come on all you good people,
And give your postie a pat.
Your good old postie, a pat on the back.

© 2005